macsnafu on June 08, 2012, 09:21:10 am
Of course the article doesn't answer the question of what women want, but I can help find the answer by kicking off a process of elimination.

What women don't want:

1. Me

Here's an important point:  you only have to find one woman, and who cares what all the other women think of you?
I love mankind.  It's PEOPLE I can't stand!  - Linus Van Pelt.

Andreas on June 08, 2012, 01:21:39 pm
Of course the article doesn't answer the question of what women want, but I can help find the answer by kicking off a process of elimination.

What women don't want:

1. Me

Here's an important point:  you only have to find one woman, and who cares what all the other women think of you?

Someone wrote, of the wisdom gained, which led a protagonist to stop cheating on his wife: "You can't be something for everybody".

And that's the truth, all the what-ifs are just distractions. And no, quantity cannot replace quality. Those who run around trying to get fulfillment through quantity never get it. They get a lot of other things though, trouble and STDs mostly.

myrkul999 on June 08, 2012, 02:19:18 pm
And that's the truth, all the what-ifs are just distractions. And no, quantity cannot replace quality. Those who run around trying to get fulfillment through quantity never get it. They get a lot of other things though, trouble and STDs mostly.

There's a flipside to this, though, that the heart wants what the heart wants. It's perfectly possible to fall for someone, while still being deeply in love with someone else. Many hearts have been broken over our strange obsession with monogamy.

mellyrn on June 08, 2012, 02:37:37 pm
Quote
the heart wants what the heart wants. It's perfectly possible to fall for someone, while still being deeply in love with someone else. Many hearts have been broken over our strange obsession with monogamy.

True, that.  And who wants somebody staying out of legal duty and pretending love, while actually being in love with someone else?

Andreas on June 08, 2012, 03:07:37 pm
And that's the truth, all the what-ifs are just distractions. And no, quantity cannot replace quality. Those who run around trying to get fulfillment through quantity never get it. They get a lot of other things though, trouble and STDs mostly.

There's a flipside to this, though, that the heart wants what the heart wants. It's perfectly possible to fall for someone, while still being deeply in love with someone else. Many hearts have been broken over our strange obsession with monogamy.
That may be, but there are wants, and then there are needs, and there are think-wants and think-needs.

myrkul999 on June 08, 2012, 03:11:49 pm
And that's the truth, all the what-ifs are just distractions. And no, quantity cannot replace quality. Those who run around trying to get fulfillment through quantity never get it. They get a lot of other things though, trouble and STDs mostly.

There's a flipside to this, though, that the heart wants what the heart wants. It's perfectly possible to fall for someone, while still being deeply in love with someone else. Many hearts have been broken over our strange obsession with monogamy.
That may be, but there are wants, and then there are needs, and there are think-wants and think-needs.

When dealing with emotions, there isn't much difference in those categories. ;)

myrkul999 on June 08, 2012, 03:16:02 pm
Quote
the heart wants what the heart wants. It's perfectly possible to fall for someone, while still being deeply in love with someone else. Many hearts have been broken over our strange obsession with monogamy.

True, that.  And who wants somebody staying out of legal duty and pretending love, while actually being in love with someone else?

Ugh. I'd rather have someone who loves me AND some other guy (or gal), than someone who resents my presence... talk about unhealthy family environment.

Andreas on June 08, 2012, 03:33:40 pm
And that's the truth, all the what-ifs are just distractions. And no, quantity cannot replace quality. Those who run around trying to get fulfillment through quantity never get it. They get a lot of other things though, trouble and STDs mostly.

There's a flipside to this, though, that the heart wants what the heart wants. It's perfectly possible to fall for someone, while still being deeply in love with someone else. Many hearts have been broken over our strange obsession with monogamy.
That may be, but there are wants, and then there are needs, and there are think-wants and think-needs.

When dealing with emotions, there isn't much difference in those categories. ;)

Oh, there is. The think-wants are your id trying to fuck you over. The think-needs are even worse.
I may think I need five snickers bars, too. Or even want them. But if I go along with fooling myself into taking them, I will just feel terrible (even with no guilt).
And love is no different.

myrkul999 on June 08, 2012, 03:47:35 pm
Oh, there is. The think-wants are your id trying to frack you over. The think-needs are even worse.
I may think I need five snickers bars, too. Or even want them. But if I go along with fooling myself into taking them, I will just feel terrible (even with no guilt).
And love is no different.

So long as you can differentiate between hormonal infatuation and lust (I guess those would be your think-want and think-need, respectively), and actual love, go for it.

The person who signs a contract with no exit clause AND a no-compete clause is a pretty big fool, if you ask me. (thankfully, my significant other agrees... people tend to get violent over that sort of opinion)

ELeeMacFall on June 08, 2012, 06:16:43 pm
Of course the article doesn't answer the question of what women want, but I can help find the answer by kicking off a process of elimination.

What women don't want:

1. Me
Yeah, a defeatist attitude is the number one universal turn-off.  :D  :D  :D
To make your chances of getting a woman even smaller (bear with me), you should grow embittered and start blaming them for not wanting you.
To improve (!) even on that, you should start a habit of whining about all this, as often as you can and in as inappropriate forums as possible...

Oh, wait, you got all that down pat, already.

Do you always respond to people's jokes with patronizing lectures?

myrkul999 on June 08, 2012, 06:24:08 pm
Do you always respond to people's jokes with patronizing lectures?

Just the ones he doesn't get. ;)

Andreas on June 09, 2012, 07:11:29 am
Do you always respond to people's jokes with patronizing lectures?
I was patronizing? Shoot, I was aiming for scathing  >:(  ::)

NeitherRuleNorBeRuled on June 11, 2012, 09:59:22 am
Quote
the heart wants what the heart wants. It's perfectly possible to fall for someone, while still being deeply in love with someone else. Many hearts have been broken over our strange obsession with monogamy.

True, that.  And who wants somebody staying out of legal duty and pretending love, while actually being in love with someone else?

On the flip side, how can one truly claim to love another yet insist on denying them the pleasure and joy of others?

Killydd on June 11, 2012, 12:13:31 pm
Some people just aren't comfortable sharing things that are truly personal to them, including people.  Others wish for happiness all around.  As long as they don't conflict, it works out well.  When those two wishes conflict, there's trouble.

myrkul999 on June 11, 2012, 12:16:18 pm
Quote
the heart wants what the heart wants. It's perfectly possible to fall for someone, while still being deeply in love with someone else. Many hearts have been broken over our strange obsession with monogamy.

True, that.  And who wants somebody staying out of legal duty and pretending love, while actually being in love with someone else?

On the flip side, how can one truly claim to love another yet insist on denying them the pleasure and joy of others?

Exactly. To quote Heinlein:
Quote
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own... Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy.

 

anything